Bloggy Help:

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Blogiquette Revisited - The Etiquette of Blogging

I had already been blogging for more than two years when I first heard about Blogiquette.
{Psssst, that's the Etiquette of Blogging}.
Replying to comments. Following back. Leaving meaningful comments on others' blogs. Visiting commenters' blogs and leaving reciprocal comments. Oops, I thought, I haven't been doing any of that.
I'd better improve my blog-manners!

Of course it didn't help that I had a good ole Blogger blog with a comment system that makes it almost impossible to reply easily to comments. (See note below regarding Blogger commenting).
If you have one, you'll know how it goes...

You can reply in the post so it looks like you've replied... but the person who commented may never know (unless they come back to check).

You can hunt down the person's blog and leave a comment there (probably what they were after).
While you're there, might as well "follow" and hope they "follow back".

Or you can try the manual way - reply by email. Oops they don't have their email address visible in their profile. Your polite reply just went to No-reply@Blogger. Never mind. At least you tried.

So you spend the next months being super duper good at Blogiquette. Replying as best you can.

You get fed up with Blogger's antiquated comment system*. You try other options, Disqus, IntenseDebate. And watch your hard-won comments dry up like your granny's knickers in summer.
Obviously that was too much work for your readers, having to sign in every time, so you flag that.

Meanwhile, as you spend hours of each day trying to build your blog by being a polite blogger you watch enviously as Dooce and Pioneer Woman get hundreds of comments which you bet they don't reply to.

One Day, you tell yourself. One day you will be a mega-blogger too and have strangers by the hundreds leaving you amazing personal comments (in the hopes of standing out from the crowd) that nobody expects you to reply to. Your blog will be a household name and people will follow you just to read you. They won't expect you to follow back. Or heaven forbid actually read and comment on their blogs.

At the same time your laundry pile rivals Mt Everest, dust bunnies are planning a revolution in your hallway and your children have started referring to you as "the computer lady".

Something has got to give.

I am coming across more and more bloggers who have lost their blogging mojo as the pressure gets to them. Blogging has become one more thing on the To Do list, one more obligation, instead of the joyous creative community-spirited endeavor it was in the beginning.
So their blogs lie dormant, abandoned. Lovely blogs, funny blogs.
It's all become just too difficult.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Are you there right now?

Or are you a new blogger... still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, enthusiastically replying to every comment and following back every blogger who follows you, whether you love their blog or not.

Whatever, wherever you are, lets take the pressure off, shall we?
Blogiquette is a great and noble concept. I'm all for manners.
But we have lives, don't we? Families and responsibilities that tug us away from the computer, much as we would love to spend hours being polite to virtual strangers.

So what do we do?

We re-evaluate. We figure out how much blogging time we get. Hmmmm. Not as much as we'd like.
We'd better Prioritise.

What comes first? Writing content for our own blog, surely? And reading those blogs which truly inspire us, make us laugh - the ones we will read whether the author ever comments on our blogs or not.

We can also make time to read the blogs of those bloggers we've built meaningful friendships with.

We check out a few newbies... and leave some encouraging meaningful comments. But not every day.

We reply to the comments where someone asks us a question, and to the comments that made our day, or intrigued us. If we have time we hop over and check out those bloggers (who knows, they could become our new favorite?)... and we leave it at that. Then we walk away from the computer.

Conquer the Laundry mountain. Fight back against the Dust Bunny Revolution. Reintroduce ourselves to our children.

And live our actual Real Lives. Without which we will have nothing to say.

What do you reckon, girls? Ready for some guilt free blogging?

*Note: The Blogger Commenting System has been recently upgraded to allow "threaded conversations". I am yet to get this working successfully on my blog.



  1. The threaded comments will work on blogger now, but it does NOT alert the person you are replying to as to the reply. So they still have to check back, and really, WHO does that? This is a good post though, I have some blog guilt in not being great the past couple weeks about replying to comments. You're right, sometimes LIFE happens...

    1. There is an option to subscribe by email to posts, similar to the way the "subscribe to comments" plugin works for wordpress. That way the user will get all replies if they are subscribed to the comment thread. Most people don't notice it though.

      I found a site a while back that explained dofollow commenting or something of that nature in regards to allowing people to contact you through your profile. When this setting is active, it allows the blogger to respond to the comment via email because it shows the email address of the user instead of the no-reply@blogger addy.

      My life has been pretty hectic lately and I haven't been able to participate the way I have in the past. Sometimes it's definitely good to take a deep breath. I say hooray for guilt free blogging! ♥

      Great post!

  2. I absolutely LOVE this ... so very true! :)

  3. Rachel, I was wondering about that, with the threaded comments... it's still not working on my blog (even though I've set the setting as directed by blogger) but if it doesn't actually notify the person who commented... duh! What's the point?!
    I guess I'll still keep on waiting and hoping, one day Blogger will have a system to equal Wordpress xx

  4. I'm using IntenseDebate on blogger and haven't had any trouble. I haven't tried using blogger's new threaded system.

  5. I don't worry over blogetiquitte. Seriously? I have way too much to do...and blog almost daily. I think that my followers are after good content...and fun topics. I read all of the comments...but rarely have time to respond. If someone asks a question, and it's not "obvious"...then I make a point to contact them and respond. Or, I might amend the original post to address the question...if it's something that others might be interested in.

    I am a big follower...of over 100 blogs. I do not comment on all of the posts...and when I do comment...I surely do not expect a response to my comment.

    But, that's just me. So, if I'm not PC about blogging...well...that par for everything else in my life too!



  6. BTW...forgot to say...

    I have my comments forwarded to my email...and I can read them there. No problem in having to "go back" and check them. Some fall through the cracks...but not many.

  7. Amen, sister! This is basically the system I follow. I've commented on blogs where I just leave a little note like "hey that's a really cute idea. Thanks!" and then I get this gushing reply about how great it was that I stopped by their blog and they hope I'll follow, and they're not following me... And I just think, really? You just spent more time replying than I spent commenting. And sometimes it just sounds like a form letter that they send to everyone, which in my mind is worse than not replying. I don't expect a reply unless I ask a question (and even then, it's more of a hope for a reply).

  8. I hear you Melanna! I always get a surprise when I get a reply to a comment on someone else's blog as well. I don't think I expect a reply; maybe if I ask a question I HOPE for a reply, but basically I hate those gushing replies too, they feel false to me.
    I'd rather reply sincerely to a few comments than send a form-reply to everyone.

  9. I remember when I first started blogging and thought it was the best thing ever. I had some very intense opinions about blogiquette...but a couple years later, I realize that can only last for so long...unless you are single, it is your job, you have a great metabolism (so you can sit for hours on end), and someone brings you food. I have quite changed my mind and heartily agree with you. I do feel slightly guilty, but realize it is only a blog, and kids must betaken care of.

  10. Hahaha Holly I first heard of Blogiquette on your blog!!

  11. I didn't know I was suppose to respond to all the comments on my blog...
    Ignorance is bliss... haha!

    Now I feel guilty.


    I follow blogs that I want to read. I comment on posts that I thought about and I respond to comments that need a response. period.

    My question is; How do you know who just signed up as a follower?? I can see that the number changed, but I can't tell which of those little profile pics is the NEW kid on the block. Any tips?

    1. I have wondered about the "latest" followers too...I have always thought the new one appeared in the upper left corner of the GFC box, I try to keep an eye on the box and see who just appears. It would be nice to know when someone joined..."hey Blogger!"

    2. Huh! I just figured out if you click on the little image of the person it will tell you underneath their name WHEN they joined! Cool!

  12. I must admit...I'm a replyer choice! I don't care if they ever see it. My southern manners won't let me let a comment go unreplied to...So far that is. If my blog starts getting 'The Pioneer Woman' kind of traffic...all bets are off!! LOL

  13. So well said sweetie!
    I try to be a good blogger, comment daily on over 25-50 blogs (I follow about 200)but really NEVER get back more then a few comments daily.
    I have really re-thought and taken many blogs and sites off my list lately. Now I understand people are busy and get LOTS of comments or are busy, but please it doesn't hurt to leave a few comments now and then.
    I think common courtesy has really gone away.
    I try to respond to my followers that leave comments and new faces to blogging.
    We all can't be to
    Thanks for sharing your view.

  14. This is a great post! Expresses a lot of what I feel and have been wondering about. As for the new threaded comments on Blogger, I was really excited about it but now I'm not so sure. I wish people received notifications when I or someone else reply to them. AND the timestamp is incorrect on the comments! It seems to be 4 hours behind :S

    1. Amanda, the time stamp is's Pacific Time.

  15. I don't know.. I blog because I love being a part of the blogging community. Do I follow hard and fast rules when it comes to responding/commenting/following? No. But if someone takes the time to read and comment on what I write, I always try my best to reply, especially when I see they are a new reader. If they ask a question, I ALWAYS respond. If they leave an especially sweet/thoughtful comment, I ALWAYS respond. When I have a few extra minutes, I check out their blogs, and if I relate to the content, I will follow and comment.

    I'm all for lightening the load, but for now, I love my little blog, and I appreciate every single reader, so I definitely don't long for the days when I don't "have to" interact with my readers. If I didn't want to, I'd write in a journal, not on a blog.

    1. Hey Kira, I'm with you on always responding when I receive a particularly sweet or thoughtful comment, or when someone asks a question. When I get the chance I pop over and visit new commenters and followers too; I love to encourage other women. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to interact with my readers, for me it is honestly the BEST part of blogging. Some of my readers I have actually met up with in real life and they have become Real Life friends as well; I'd hate you to think I was longing for the chance to not have to interact with people - far from it :)

      I have a little disclaimer on my "about Me" page with regards to replying to comments... "If you don't receive a reply it's probably because life has gotten crazy (or you don't have your email address showing in your profile)... but I will always reply to emails."

      I'm just trying to lift some of the "blog-guilt"... because we are all in the same boat, and especially as mothers - we have enough Mummy-guilt to deal with! xx

    2. No judging, just offering another opinion : ) I know that when my blog recently got a lot of attention via Pinterest, I became totally overwhelmed with answering questions, monitoring links and pins (to be sure they were sourced properly) AND reading the not-so-nice comments people were posting along with my photos - it bummed me out a little. I think that my "big blogger" idols (as far as blogiquette go) are John and Sherry of Young House Love - they are so sweet and respond to ALL questions via comments AND Twitter. Even though they have a wildly popular blog and a baby, they do a great job.

  16. My thoughts exactly...and I thought I was the only one feeling this way. This post helped. :) In other words, I most def need to prioritize! Well said, & all of these other opinions & thoughts are great too! ;)


  17. Great post. I have been blogging about a year, get a lot out of it but have learned to devote a certain portion of my day to it and then move on. I follow a lot of blogs and coudln't possibly leave a comment or visit each one, but when I leave a comment its heartfelt generally kind of long and sincere, not a generic "nice grouping of pictures' or other simple common blurb. My comments are from the heart because that post prompted me to speak out in one way or another. I am lucky for my blog to have grown quite fast....and I trust that others leaving me a comment do so for the same reason. As with everything in life, this blogging thing is fabulous and such a part of my life now, and wouldn't want it any other way but its important to keep things balanced.

  18. I loved that post Simone!! So true my dear... I have to go with balance, it works with everything I do weather it's blogging or housework. Oh and have fun too, gotta have some fun!

  19. I love this post!
    It's so true!
    Thanks for sharing -

  20. Oh my gosh! This is the best post I've read in a long time. Thank you for helping me realize I may not be the only blogger out there who can't do it all. :)

  21. This is just so true! :) Thank you for being honest and voicing your opinion. I totally agree with everything you wrote :)

  22. Great job explaining! If you can just show or tell us how to remove all those blogs we were following but no longer want to follow as blogger no longer allows me to manager or remove those blogs!

    1. HI!
      Here's a great link that tells you how to remove blogs you no longer want to follow:

      If you need more help let me know. And, sadly, you have to remove them one by one, there's not a way to do several at a time.

      Good luck!

  23. this is great, exactly how I feel! I have refused to follow others blogs just because they have followed mine. Come on, lets get real, would I really have the time to read all of those blogs. I want real followers who actually want to follow what I'm doing on my blog, not courtesy followers. I personally feel this is a silly practice. so if I haven't offended every reader out there, then come and take a look at my blog, Thanks again for a great article.

  24. I have a different way of keeping up with my favourite blogs; if you're feeling a little overwhelmed by your reader you might want to give it a try? I have two blogroll lists of my favourites in my sidebar - one is "Favourite Reads" the Other is "Blog Friends". I set up the lists to show only the 10 most recently updated blogs. These are the blogs I read regularly. When I see a favourite has a new post up, I can pop over. That way I can be more generous with my "follow" action. I have saved them in my reader so if a title catches my eye it will draw me in; if i find myself being drawn repeatedly to a blog, or I find myself interacting regularly with someone via email or comments, I can add them to one of my blog rolls. A few of my Favourites Reads are also my best blog friends. I list them under favourites so others can find their awesomeness easily too.
    I try to comment on my favs and friends as much as i can - not daily, but some time within the week. I often find myself doing a big catch up and commenting on a week's worth of posts at once.

    Works for me!

  25. WOW! Thank you for this blog. I am so happy I found it. I hope you will join mine as well. I am new at this & don't have many followers. Maybe you can give me some advice as to how to get them?? Thanks again.
    2retirednewmans (Just Another Day)

  26. Thanks for the great post. I have been blogging for about a year, and my life has recently changed so that I have a lot less time to post, or to read other people's blogs. I really enjoyed my time blogging, so I am sad about not being able to do it very often. But, hopefully times will change and I will have more time for it.

    I would like to have more people following my blog. But, I wouldn't be able to handle the increased traffic right now. I want to provide meaningful content to people, so it is OK that not many people are following me right now. I guess when I get back to being able to post frequently, the traffic will eventually go up. :)

  27. I just found this post through a google search. I have revitalized my blog to have content that folks may actually comment on. Thanks for verifying all the things that were going through my head ("I should really email back since they won't be checking the comments on this post again. Then again, is my response to their comments supposed to be public., etc. etc.")

  28. I thought I followed a lot of blogs, but definitely not 100-200! I try to comment on other blogs, but sometimes I don't have anything awesome to say. I feel like "Good post" is not going to really get me anywhere.


Comments are how we stay connected as bloggers. Let us know how you feel and we'll return the favor...stay calm and blog on!!! And guess what? You'll never find Word Verification on our gets kind of annoying when you can't read what WV wants you to verify right?

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